Dealing with Discouragement

I wanted to stay at home like we always do on Sunday nights. It is not so much that I am a stickler for routine. I just like staying home. So last week when I read in the bulletin that we had a special service to hear a missionary speak, I inwardly groaned. When the pastor asked for a show of hands, I raised mine slightly, not committing to anything. I knew I would go. I felt obligated as a former missionary. I also enjoy hearing missionaries speak. But my calendar was full. I had something every night along with substitute teaching almost every day. I did not like the idea of adding one more thing to an overloaded schedule.


Gabriel had his final drama performance where he was doing the lighting. I picked him up and we went straight to church from there. We had a small group of people there. 20 perhaps. It was a typical missionary service with slides showing their ministry and a question and answer time followed. Then he asked us to open up our Bibles. I was completely prepared for a "Go ye therefore" type sermon. I couldn't have been more wrong. I don't know why the other 19 people came because the sermon was for me.

And they journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the Red sea, to compass the land of Edom: and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way. Numbers 21:4

Our journey over the last 18 months has been long and weary. It has affected every area of my life - emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually - and left me drained and discouraged. We know that God has led us here but honestly there are days when I feel that He has dropped us in the middle of the desert and forgotten us. I wonder about His timing. Why is this process taking so long? Haven't I spent enough of my life learning patience?

And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread. Numbers 21:5

"Lord," I have prayed in recent months, "why did you have us leave Romania? We loved it there. Our friends are there. And I'm so weary of this hectic pace and this cramped apartment." I found myself becoming negative, critical and much discouraged. But God had prepared a sermon for me that night. I don't remember all the words that were spoken but those two verses slapped me in the face.


Life is often tiresome and discouraging. It's an uphill climb most days. And while discouragement is not a sin, it can quickly cause us to sin. I am still in the meditation mode on this sermon and I haven't sorted out all my thoughts just yet. But the discouragement has quickly evaporated and is being replaced by joy and gentle reminders of God's care from His Word. I am still on my long journey and I don't know when or where it will end. But God does and in that thought, that truth, I will trust.

But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:10