Another One

It was another one of those sermons. The kind that cause me to wonder why everyone else was there because I am sure that words were meant specifically for me. I know, of course, that I am not the only one facing storms or challenges. I am not the first person to learn lessons from the Lord on patience. But the words the pastor spoke dealt with things I was contemplating only this afternoon. It was uncanny, as of he had read my thoughts. I know. It's the Holy Spirit. He knew what my heart needed to hear. I am sure that He spoke to other hearts as well, perhaps in different ways. The final words, ". . . know that he's going to bring you full circle," brought tears to my eyes. God is working in my life. He has a purpose. I just need to be still and know.

Be still, and know that I am God:
Psalm 46:10a

More on Chick Fil-A

Gayle asked, "I wonder if it was because he is homeschooled, because surely it's not an attack on his faith, since it's a Christian company?" There were homeschoolers and non homeschoolers alike who were targeted by the Emperor. It was mentioned by several that she would pick out those that she did not like and make their work experience miserable until they quit. Chick Fil-A is an awesome organization. We think they are great and the store Gabriel worked for in Alabama was exemplary. This particular store here is owned by a man who professes to be a Christian but managed by two individuals that are not. I cannot attest to the faith of the others but Gabriel has taken a stand for Jesus Christ. I believe that this was both an attack from the enemy as well as a test from God.

Gayle also said, "I bet that was a hard thing to deal with as a Mom. I probably would have been seething." Yes, more than once I wanted to walk in there and give some people a piece of my mind. I just might have if I thought it would accomplish anything. I am learning that one of the hardest parts of being a mom is watching your child grow spiritually. It is the storms of life that increase your faith and draw you closer to the Lord. Children cannot ride through life on the lessons their parents' have learned. They must face battles of their own. It is heartbreaking for a mom to sit and watch as the storms rage in the life of a child. I am constantly reminded that my Saviour who loves me also loves my children more that I ever could. The Lord is my Shepherd. He is their Shepherd too.

Still Waiting

(As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were. Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be. And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb: He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform. (Romans 4:17-21)

The past 18 months have been a period of waiting and trusting. We're still there; still unsure of the future. Just watching and waiting to see what God will do in our lives. Eighteen months seems like a long journey but then I consider Abraham. He waited years for his promised son in circumstances that were indeed impossible. He was old. His wife was well beyond the age of childbearing. Yet the Bible says that he staggered not at the promise of God.

I stagger. Sometimes I stumble and fall. Doubt creeps in. I find myself like the disciples on the boat. The storm rises and I fear that I'll perish. And in the midst of winds and the raging sea my Lord says to me, "Why are you fearful? Don't you know that I have led you every step along this journey. I have opened doors when you could not. I have opened doors that you did not even know about. I have provided when you did not expect it and from sources that you never imagined. Don’t you realize it is Me and not you? O ye of little faith.”

I don't know what tomorrow, or next month, or next year holds. But for now, I will continue to wait and trust and marvel as He unfolds His plan for us.

Word of God Speak

Sometimes, I think my faith is strong. I serve a mighty God Who can do all things. I've seen miracles first hand. Other times, I find myself surrounded by doubt.

I'm taking a three day break from the internet.

"Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Your prayers are appreciated.

My Story

March 14th will be the one year anniversary of our departure from Romania. I am sure that many events during our years there will never be erased from my mind while I am still on this earth. Some are a dim memory already. It is time to write them all down. I wrote the following over a year ago while we were still in on the field.

It was about a month ago when John told me that he felt like the Lord might be telling us that it’s time to leave Romania. After ten years of being in the ministry, I am not sure how I feel about that. Part of me would be relieved of the burden of ministering in a foreign, post communist country. We have spent years trying to learn the language and culture in order to communicate the gospel. We have given up conveniences taken for granted in America in exchange for third world medical facilities. We have left family and familiarity for loneliness and frustrations. We gave all that we knew how to give, not for the sake of pride, not because we were special but because God asked us to. Another part of me would be excited about whatever adventure the Lord might be planning. Where will we go next? What ministry does God want us to be involved in? What miraculous things will I be praising Him for in the coming year? There is a part of me that would be terrified. We are comfortable where we are now. I do not know if I could ever be fluent in the language but I don’t have a problem carrying on a conversation. I wish that I could say that I have the gift of tongues. However, God decided that gift was only for a certain time period. I do however seem to have the gift of accents. I have done a lot of traveling over my lifetime and it does not take very long to pick up the local accent, totally unbeknownst to me. I have sat with a group of women in Romania on several different occasions and talked with them for a while. They were amazed to discover that I was not Romanian and insisted that I had no accent. Missionary life is far from easy but what is known is more acceptable than what is alien. Saying “Yes!” to God and packing up when He hasn’t told us where to go is more than frightening. After the relief, the excitement and the fears, there is the rest of my heart – the biggest part that will be crushed to leave the friends that we have made over the years. Belongings can be sold or put in boxes and shipped across an ocean, but how do I pack up my heart? Or how can I survive if I leave it behind?

God has been whispering to my heart that it is time to write my story. The words that I have to put on paper will never rival Corrie Ten Boom’s. They will not be considered newsworthy like the sinking of the Titanic and appear in every newspaper and I am sure no one will ask to make a movie about my life. My hope is, however, that perhaps through my journey a soul will be inspired. Maybe the lessons that I have learned will encourage another to step out on faith and live a life blessed by God.

Believing

Today was one of those days filled with the busy-ness of life. It contained events that will never be read about in history books; a trip to the library and Wal-Mart, a search through a closet to find missing tennis shoes and baking cookies for a church picnic.

John and I spent some time discussing our immediate future. Why are we here? Where does the Lord want us to go? What is the next step besides the inevitable waiting? I will admit that I am not upbeat and positive every moment of every day. I fall prey to worry and unbelief. Some days I feel like the Israelites in the wilderness, wondering when the pillar of a cloud will move and once again lead us somewhere.

For now, we wait, but our waiting is not without hope. God has proven over and over again in my life that He is faithful and true. One of my favorite passages about faith in the Bible is about the faith of Abraham.

(As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were. Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be. And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb: He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform. (Romans 4:17-21)

Are you waiting on God? What are you believing He will do for you?

Stepping Out on Faith

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9

Doing what God has called one to do is seldom easy. God’s plan does not fit neatly inside a one-size fits all box. His way of doing things simply is not the way we would choose to do them. We came to Constanta, Romania in 2002. We are fully convinced that it was God’s plan for our life at the time. We came eagerly with the peace of God in our hearts to serve Him. We had no clue how long we would be here. When people asked us, our answer was always, “As long as the Lord wants us here.”

Now we are just as convinced that He is asking us to leave Romania. There are several instruments or situations that God has used to reveal to us and confirm His direction for us to leave. No one point of confirmation carried enough weight for us to leave Romania, but when they are added together in the right timing, they have revealed God’s plan for us to make this move. Also, we believe that circumstances, good or bad, are not the deciding factor, because if we moved on circumstances alone, we might never do anything with the Lord to begin with. Circumstances do not stop the Lord, but we do believe He teaches and gives understanding and confirmation through them.

This decision did not come about without a lot of prayer, fasting, searching the scriptures and counseling. I know there will be many questions but bottom line, how do we explain the peace of God that both John and I have in our hearts? Are we discouraged? We have had our share of discouraging moments over the years, but no, we are not leaving because of discouragement. Romania has become home to us. We are all comfortable and content here. Leaving the friends that we have made will tear our hearts out and we are left with the blessing that several of these friends are now brothers and sisters in Christ and we will have eternity together. Do we know what we are doing next? Not yet, but God does and we trust Him to show us the next step.

Stepping out on faith can be heart racing and mind boggling. The enemy always intrudes with fear, doubt, criticism, confusion and discouragement. We earnestly request your prayers during this difficult transition.